I moved to NYC a few months ago due to a job change and personal reasons.  I was excited to start working at a new company, and was really looking forward to a new life in the city.  Only problem...the job turned out to be a major mistake.

I feel I was "sold into the position" and that my new boss presented himself in a fake way.  Once I started working, I felt I was walking on eggshells every day.  Would I get yelled at?  Will I do something wrong this week?  Will I make a decision and later be scolded for not getting him to authorize it?  Having had the freedom and trust from my previous employer to actually do my job was stripped of me at my new employer.  I was not used to having to discuss every tiny little thing with my new manager.  It drove me insane. 

The last straw was when I returned from my vacation in Mexico.  I had a feeling the moment I walked into my office that I must have done something wrong and would get "a talking to" when the boss came in.  Sure enough, I was right.  I opened my email and was shocked at what I read.  He left me an angry email complaining that my brokers were calling him while I was gone, and he was under the impression that my desk was cleared before I left for Mexico. My thought...uuuhhhh.....what????  I thought this was just part of "teamwork".  Apparently, he thought it was completely wrong to have to answer questions for brokers on accounts that I was assigned to.  I had enough.  Time to get the hell out of there and stop working for this clown.

The next week I had a job interview, followed by a job offer a few days later.  I finally feel free and just hope I didn't make yet another mistake with accepting a new job.  Am I nervous about the new position?  Absolutely.  I just don't want to feel trapped yet again.  This previous boss of mine was horrible and lacked all the skills of managing.  I refused to allow myself to get yelled at and constantly insulted by this loser. 

Sigh.  Free at last.

Of all the jobs I've had, I've never been lucky enough to score a job with a cube/office/chair by a window.  Now that I work in Jersey City, I have my very own office...with a huge window.  I work on the 16th floor of a building that overlooks Manhattan.  At first, I thought I would get distracted by such a view.  However, now that I've been here a few weeks, I have to remind myself to take some time just to enjoy the view every day.

There are two buildings under construction near my office building.  Trump Towers, in fact.  I watch the huge crane load and unload materials, and am fascinated by the individual who would man such a piece of equipment.  I am afraid of heights, so this would not be an ideal job for me.  Slowly, the buildings are going up floor by floor.  It has started raining, so construction has ceased for the day. 

I also have a nice view of the waterway that separates the two states.  Ferries filled with tourists go up and down, along with barges and Coast Guard boats.  I enjoy watching the huge barges go by as they are escorted by tugboats.  Every once in a while, I hear the horn being blown from one of these vessels. 

I didn't realise what a huge business helicopter tours were in NYC.  Now I know.  The helicopters are constant...all day long, a few at a time passing each other.  Unbelievable.  Maybe someday I will take a ride in one of them myself.  Who knows, maybe I will see Trump's helicopter land on one of his new buildings once they are complete.  Speak of the devil, there goes a helicopter now..in the rain.  Those poor tourists are probably bummed at the foggy view of the city. 

I love my niew window office.  However, I better enjoy it now because we may be moving our office into NYC in June.  I may be stuck having a view of the offices of another building directly across the street.  For now, I'll keeping watching the helicopters and the tugs carry on.

As a new resident of NYC, there's a bit of an adjustment that comes with living in this city. The first major thing is that I have a longer commute, but it is considered a 'greener' commute. I leave my car in it's parking spot and walk a few blocks to the elevated subway station. When I first started this long commute, I would walk past the residential houses in this area. However, I've strayed a bit and now walk the path by the shops and restaurants. It's a better view and am more apt to people watch. Otherwise, I am likely to step in dog poop on the sidewalk if I maintain my path past the houses. (People are lazy about picking up dog poop around here.) Once I am on the subway platform, I have a nice morning wake-up. The sun is just starting to rise and I can hear the hustle of cars below me. It's not a bad start. I am lucky enough to get a seat on this first train of the morning, as I am on the second stop of the route. I take this train until 125th street in Manhattan. Once I get to my destination, the train is crowded with commuters. I am able to get a nice chunk of reading done on this first ride. When the train stops at 125th street, I jump off my first ride of the day, walk across the platform and wait for the 5 train to show up. This train can go either way: packed or light on passengers. I hate it when it's packed. It generally calls for squishing up against someone for about 6 stops. When it's light, I'm usually lucky enough to grab a seat and continue reading. Once I reach Fulton Ave, I hop off my second ride and head to street level. It's nice to be out in the fresh air. I now continue on to the Path Train located at the sight of the World Trade Center. A day doesn't go by without thinking about the lives that were lost in this exact spot. My journey into the depths of the Path Train station allows full viewing of the work being done on the sight. I always take notice. Most people just walk on by without bothering. There are also very large collages hanging on the walls that feature artwork done by children who lost loved ones here. Every day I look at these pictures. It's an eerie reminder of how this place has changed in such a short period of time. To get to the Path Train requires heading down by way of various steps and escalators. Once at the bottom, I have to play a game of "guess where the train will be". There are different tracks, which have different steps that take you to these tracks. Not all of the steps lead to the same place, so I have to peer down the stairs before I make my move. No matter which train I take leads me to the first stop across the river in New Jersey. Sigh...my commute is almost over. The Path Train is a quick two minute ride into Jersey. Once the train reaches the station, I now have to take a very steep escalator (which I force myself to walk up every morning) to street level. I walk a few blocks to my building. I then take the elevator to the 16th floor and, phew, I'm at work. Now my commute home is in reverse and the trains are worse. They are much more packed, and I'm lucky if I get a chance to read. That is usually reserved for the last train when the passengers start to thin out. While waiting, I steer clear of people watching. People can be rude out here, and the last thing I want is to start trouble. While waiting, I decide to look elsewhere. I look at the design of the walls on the station (of which each one is different), I look at the garbage all over the ground near the tracks, and sometimes.....I see rats. Yesterday I was thoroughly engrossed in watching a rat eat a dead rat. Now that's just gross. Rats don't creep me out if they are the size of mice. The rats I see in the subway are usually slightly larger than a mouse, but not big enough to creep me out. I have, however, seen a rat that was the size of a small cat. I was walking to a Red Sox/Yankees night game at Yankee Stadium with my boyfriend last year when lo and behold, a gigantic rat ran right in front of us. That was the first time I had ever seen a rat in NYC, nevertheless, one the size of a cat! Since then, they haven't bothered me. If I see one near my apartment, then I will completely freak!! For now, I'll just entertain myself by watching the rats run around the tracks while waiting for the trains on my daily commutes.

Today I drove up to CT for yet another "take care of remaining things" trip. I drive a Mini Cooper. Great on gas, cheap on insurance, easy to park in the city....and cramped. Moving from Connecticut to NYC has been a huge adventure. Not all of my stuff fit in the moving van for the "big move". I have odds and ends in my condo, and have had to take frequent trips in the past 2 weeks to clean out the place. If you are familiar with a Mini, there is not much room for storage. I'm sure you can see the dilemma. I am tired of driving the 4 hour round trip every other day or so. It's wearing on me. I can't wait to use public transportation. I will be saving big money on gas, along with less wear and tear on my car. I am the tenant on the first floor of a three story family house. The other two tenants have balconies, and my landlord offered me a parking spot in place of not having a balcony. Thank god I drive a Mini. It's the only car that would fit comfortably in the "parking spot" between my building and the one next door. I have to carefully squeeze it in backwards, taking great care not to scratch the paint on the brick. I have little room to then squeeze out of my door once I am parked. At least it is off the street and away from prying eyes. I also have no fear of having it stolen from that spot....you would have to be a little guy to want to get into that confined spot to jack it. At least tomorrow I will be taking the day off from driving up to Connecticut yet again. My Mini needs a break, along with the owner.

I woke up this morning to the sound of sleet tapping at my window. The wind has been howling all day. The snow and freezing rain has not stopped since late last evening. What a beautiful sight to see. This is the first big storm of the winter. Luckily, I have not started my new job yet and have been homebound all day. In fact, today is officially my last day at my old job. Upon checking my voice mail this morning, I had a message from my boyfriend telling me NOT to go anywhere today. The roads are terrible. He works on Long Island and had to drive with icey conditions to work, and I suspect it will be just as bad, if not worse, on the ride home. He, and his son, will be spending the evening at my home tonight. They have an appointment near my home in the morning, and I will be getting up early to head to CT for the day. It will be nice to spend Valentine's Day with my boyfriend for the first time. Being in a long distance relationship for the past year has been hard at times and we've missed out on special moments so many others take for granted. It's nice to finally have a 'full time boyfriend'! So here I sit with my beautiful roses, and a weak borrowed wireless connection. I watch the snow blow sideways, while the wind howls at my windows. I really love my new life and finally feel I am doing things my way for the first time. I'm happier than I've ever been and am very excited at the changes made. On that note, time to play a challenging game of sudoku. Gotta enjoy my free time while it lasts.

I'm finally in my new place in the bronx. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Today I received 2 dozen roses from my boyfriend. :-) Yes, I'm very happy. It's strange to be in an apartment. Yes indeed. I still don't like the idea of paying someone else's mortgage, but it's for the short term. I'm actually sitting at my new kitchen counter typing this...and, well, I'm somehow connected to someone else's wireless network. I'm praying the signal doesn't get lost completely as it is very weak. I just turned on my laptop to see if I had any computer games and voila!! I was connected to a wireless network! Sweetness. My new place is in a very quiet neighborhood. The only thing that makes a lot of noise is the heater system here. It runs on natural gas, which will be a huge savings as compared to the electric heat I had in my condo. Very nice. I spent the day today with Tony's son. He was my helper as I ran errands. He also helped me finish getting my place in order. It looks great, and I'm feeling at home. It's so quiet though. It's nice having people around, and lately, I've had more company than I've ever had at my condo. Big improvement. I will be running back up to CT on Thursday for an appointment and to get some more odds and ends out of my condo. It started snowing about an hour ago. Apparently a big storm will be coming through tonight. I hope I wake up to a winter wonderland in the morning. That would be so pretty. Maybe I'll hop on the train and go downtown for the day just to get out of my house and explore. Hhhmmm...not a bad idea.

Ever sit there and think about all the stuff you have? It's amazing how much stuff you can accumulate in time. I'm finally packing for the big move on Saturday. My most treasured stuff are my books. I have boxes and boxes of those. Then it's on to the kitchen stuff. It's funny how you find things that are part of a set, and you have no idea where the other part is. Example: going through my plastic containers, I find a cover that does not match any containers that I own. Hhmm. Into the recycle pile it goes! My living room is getting bombarded with my packed items. And to top it all off, I have someone coming at 6 to see my condo. I do have a prospective buyer already and a contract was signed this morning. Fun fun! Everything seems to be moving along smoothly so far. I suppose I should get off my butt and pack more of my stuff now instead of procrastinating on the Mac. My stuff is calling my name!!

So here I am...still tired...unable to sleep. I'm at my boyfriends place and he's snoozing away unaware that I am up and unable to get a wink of shuteye. I think all of my recent stress and major responsibilities have created this sleepless phase I am now stuck in. I just can't sleep and it's making me nuts. I just registered my Applecare protection plan online...the internet is open 24/7. So I'm able to at least get some stuff done that's pretty important to me. I thought about changing my address on magazine subscriptions, only to remember that I don't have the magazines with me. I'm sure it will ask the question, "please input this number from your magazine address label". Oh well. Oh yeah. Forgot to mention that I got the apartment I wanted in the bronx. I move in next Saturday. I really have no clue if anyone will help me, but at this point, I'm no longer thinking about that. I just know that I will get my stuff into my place...alone if I have to. Though I know someone will help me. I'm very excited about getting a place. It's brand new, and the landlord took great care in the details. I'm impressed. I will have a few weeks to unpack and get adjusted to my very new surroundings. There's a delicious walk-up bagel place right up the street. Tony knows the owner, and we've gotten bagels from there a few times, so that is pretty exciting. Wow. Excited about bagels up the street. Don't forget...it's 2 am. Everything is within walking distance...the grocery store, a gym, the subway, restaurants. It's nice. There's even a Burger King nearby if I ever get the urge for greasy fries. It's late...I should at least lay down and think about stuff rather than stare at the computer and think about stuff. I might grab about 10 minutes of sleep tonight if I'm lucky. I got a whopping 3 hours last night. I'm off to the sheets....

I'm tired of being tired.  I have not slept much in the past few weeks.  My mind has been full of thoughts that I can't shut off.  I'm lucky if I get a few hours of rest a night.  Once I wake up, there's no going back to sleep.  My new job, my soon-to-be old job, the selling of my condo, hoping to get this one apartment I have my eye on, finances.....I can't shut these thoughts off.  I'm basically starting a brand new life, and I've got so many things to do in the process.  I am trying to stay sharp and focused, therefore I'm having a hard time just STOPPING.  My thoughts are overwhelming, this move is overwhelming.  I'm tempted to take sleeping pills so that I'm forced to sleep, but then I'm afraid I will wake up with that groggy Nyquil-type hangover.  I hate those.  Then of course there's the vicious cycle of thinking that you need to go to sleep,  which makes trying to go to sleep worse.  The biggest hurdle I have yet to get over is getting a new address.  Once I have an apartment, the rest will fall into place.  Then I'm hoping to regain more hours of much needed sleep.

Oh sleep.....how I miss you!

So today was my resignation day.  I haven't slept much this week because this day was coming...and quickly.  I came in early to prepare myself in case I was "walked out".  A few weeks ago a co-worker gave his resignation and they walked him out because he was going to a competitor.  So I figured the same would happen to me. 

I have an unobstructed view of my boss' office and was waiting impatiently for his arrival.  When he finally showed up, I walked up to his office and waited while he was taking his coat off.  I just said, "I need to talk to you".  Then I walked right in, sat down and shut the door.  He had that 'ut-oh' expression on his face.  "No, bossman, the news is not good.  For you anyway."  Then I handed him my letter. 

He surprisingly supported my decision to leave.  He had nothing but positive things to say and feels that I will do an excellent job in my new position.  I even offered a solution as to who would be best suited to take over my work.  He wholeheartedly agreed and decided to go with that idea. 

Then the question of, "will I be walked out" came up.  He had to wait for his boss to arrive to make the decision.  So back to my desk I went....with a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.  A few hours later, bossman was back at my desk.  "It's been decided by senior management that you will be staying the next two weeks."  Uh....WHAT??? COME AGAIN?  REPETEZ, S'IL VOUS PLAIT???  I couldn't believe it.  I should have taken bets with my boyfriend.  He insisted I would be walked out within twenty minutes of my resignation.  Ha!  I'm still here...wasting time...surfing the net....roaming the floor talking to co-workers...anything to slack off.  Is that a bad thing?  As my boss said, "I don't know why they are keeping you here.  You've checked out."  Damn straight.  However, he will be making the excuse that "people are distracting her, she's getting too many calls questioning why she's leaving", etc etc.  I will be walked out next Friday.  :-)   This chapter of my life is winding down, coming to a close and the happy ending page is almost here.